Ok, so I have found a new way to help me never smoke again. I quit on December 14th, and yes sometimes I crave a ciggarette, but today I found a new way to not want to smoke. I was cleaning the bedroom in order to have a clean room when the bed gets here tomorrow, and washing things off and seeing all of then nicotine on the walls and all over evrything was just disgusting. To know if I ever started again, that crap would be in my lungs again, plus all over my house. Now I am gonna have to do the rest of the house. Now I am gonna vent a little bit. Sometimes I feel like I have lost my marbles. When I think things are going to get better, something else happens. I know that we are going to get the bed tomorrow, but The nurse today was saying how he is not getting much better. I thought that I have been doing everything to make him better, and now I feel like I am failing. That I am doing something wrong, or not enough. She never said to do anything else, but I want to see that my hard work is paying off. It may be some selfishness, but I feel like I am doing all I can do. Hopefully now that is off my chest I will feel better, and get on with ,my day. Have alot more to get done today, but I know that it will be worth it.  Thought for today..... Even though you have grown up, always find time to play.