Ok positive posititive and dammit it will stay positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!whats been going on lately. within the last two days has been amazing.  1.  i got a HUGE loan AND grant from the federal govt.  i  cant believe it.  i am soooo exited.  even after propisition blah blah blah when they said "no money is available, hardly any )i got it! i cant believe it."  I AM BLESSED.2.  i AM KICKING ASS IN RETAIL.  MY BOSS LOVES ME!!!!3.  IM JOINING A "VEGAS LEAUGUE IN BOWLING.4.  I am going to hold a scrap booking party!!!!!!not to say that there is no hurt or sorrow in this life of mine but i am working on it slowly with my psychologist.  and dammit he has ORDERED THIS FUN!!!!!!!!   LOL