i want to write i want to write everything down...all the pain all the memories of him....my endless hospital stays. just break down take it one step at a time and remember. remember being on a cold and dreary ward wondering when i will go home being held in restraints overnight because i couldnt get my behavior together. and then there was him. im trying to get better take my meds and STAY so that i can have a normal life get away and never see him again but alas EVERY time i try he gets me out of the hospital. so i can go back to him and say isolated alone and afraid. Endless years of this same senario. When will it end i asked my self. Stays with roomates renting rooms i finallly get some peace but hes still in my life. I crinnge seeing and hugging him and now hes got my car too? the bastard! e says he needs to drive it he cant afford a new one. i dont work why cant we share? Ugh! A final attemp. No goodbye one last hug with no idea how ill get away. But I do it! no forwarding adress, a changed e-mail, not a word gone.
And now Im in a whole nother world. away from him I have my own house .a littledog. Life could get better. Yes im depressed but its okay the clouds have dissapeared new hope has broke loose and is now on my horizon.