It is getting worse, normally seminary at least cheers me up a little, but today there was no joy, nothing. My teacher even told me I looked dead today. The only good thing about today so far is that one of my best freinds moved back from Texas. I feel dead, that is were I want to be, but my mom loves me that I know it would kill her if I died. She keeps me staked to this life.
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Well that should show you that you bring joy to atleast one person and that atleast there is one person that loves you. Of course, it feels different on the inside...there are many days i feel dead on the inside and sometimes i think well.if im already dead on the inside..why not physically be dead..cause isnt what is on the inside the most important? in my eyes, suicide is the only sin that you could never be forgiven for. Just hang in there!