Had to text him just now concerning J's schooling.  He text back telling me he was just thinking about me cuz he hadnt heard from me in a while.  I told him the less we talk, the better I do. and that he has no idea how this has affected me.  he texts back saying sorry for getting me all upset and telling me to relax.  I say, no no, im ok, its just trying to tell him how i feel is not easy.  he texts again saying when the time is right.  i tell him this is why i thought counseling was so important to us.    i get no reply.  so, i think i know why this bothers me so much.   I feel as if he gave up on me too quickly.  he doesnt see it that way, but i do.  and when we try to talk about it, we fight about it.  this is what makes me so mad all the time.  we fight about it and dont try to listen to one another.  this is the way our marraige was, too.  trying to talk to him and tell him he was wrong, was not a good thing.  I wasnt always right either, but he is never wrong.  this is what bothers me so much.  this is the pain i feel in my heart.  i pretty much have gotten over him and this feeling.  in fact, i totally have.  just when i think about it is when it gets to me.  thats all.  I know i did the right thing for me and the kids.