It's Sunday morning.  So far (it's 8:20) it's been a good day.  I don't get much alone time in my life.  My kids are small (5 and 3 1/2) and they have special needs.  The divorce certainly doesn't help matters.  They don't leave me alone all day long until they fall asleep.  At the end of the day I am usually so exhausted that I fall asleep soon afterward.  On the days when my soon-to-be ex has them he calls me repeatedly to fix the problems that occur during the day in the course of normal parenting. If not, the kids will call, sometimes at 1 am.  Often at 6:30 am saying that they are ready to come home.  I haven't slept in in years.  On the days that my ex has the kids, I am in university all day or handling the divorce proceedings.  I don't get to have fun very often.  In addition, he (my ex) is asking me for alimony, willing to pay minimal child support, and dragging the divorce out for ever.He has a new girlfriend.  I really don't care that he does except for the fact that she is a cop in the city that we live and in which he is a firefighter.  We have had to call the police out to our home for DV and yet she still - as a cop and knowing of his violence - dates him. I think that's stupid. She has 3 young boys too. My 5 year old told me today that they are going to get married.  They have been dating less than a month.  The thing is, it is probably true.  He is very impulsive.My dating has been limited.  I have gone out 4 times with 2 different guys. The first was unremarkable, nice but no chemistry. The second is still a wait and see sort of thing.The job is okay.  I started recently and orientation was rocky because my ex jeopradized my standing. But I like the hospice work.School is my only release.  I am graduating Magna Cum Laude in the spring with a degree in Psychology and Nursing. I plan to get my Masters in Nursing in Mental Health.  I want to do counseling therapy someday.My marriage was troubled with my ex's bipolar illness, violence, wild spending, alcoholism, and anti-social personality disorder.  The night he hit me and threatened to put my 3 year old thru the wall was the night I decided the marriage was over.  There was no infidelity (at least on my part) but there was much abuse, mostly verbal but sometimes physical and threatening behavior.I have a love for the Lord but right now my faith is very clouded.  I recently started going back to church and taking the kids to bible study. They enjoy it which makes me glad.  Right now instructing them on Christ seems too hard. I can't see it myself.My children are wonderful.  I have a boy, 5, who goes to a special needs preschool for a speech delay and ADHD, and behavioral problems that have since been resolved (when he was 13 months old he saw his Dad go on a violent rampage, threaten his half sister and me with a gun) He is very happy.  He loves karate, any thing to do with Pixar Cars and Thomas the Tank Engine.  I have a little girl too, 3 1/2.  She is very sweet and loving. She loves to dance, draw and do anything regarding art. She loves, Dora the Explorer, Hello Kitty, and of course the Disney Princesses. Lastly, I have a stepdaughter, 13.  She is from my husband's first marriage. She is smart as a whip, sing like a wren, has tons of friends, loves to cheerlead, and is really into music, (has a crush on a boy) and fashion design.  I love her dearly and miss that she isn't in my life as much as she used to be.  So that's me. Entry one of the journal.  Tata