BFN

Well its Sunday, March 2, and I got the BFN call on Friday. I am so sad, but there is nothing I can do or say to make it change. I just have to keep on trying. I have to have 2 more IUIs with injectables before I move on to IVF. Its all about insurance. It just isnt fair. I keep thinking why me. Why cant my stupid body do this one little thing. Its just not fair. I have come to grips with it. It is out of my hands and I just have to let God do what he does. Maybe its a about some bigger plan? Maybe this isnt the time? Maybe I wont be a good mom? Maybe he is punishing me for something I did? Maybe I wont handle the things that come along with being a mom? Who knows. These are the things that go thru my mind. Well now I sit here having for AF. The RE says if it doesnt come by Monday the latest, I may have a cyst that is preventing it from coming. I guess when you do the injectables, AF is supposed to come 2 weeks on the nose. Well, she isnt here yet. WTF!!!  Can it get any worse?