Today I knew right when I woke up that it wasn't going to be a good day. Not that there was anything big going on, but I could feel the depression coming on. Some mornings like this I wake up crying. Not for any particular reason...well I guess pain has a lot to do with it. I need some hope. Hope that there will be an end to this pain one day, but there is no hope right now. I do try to stay positive. I really do. But when this damn depression creaps up on me...there's not much I can do. I try to stay busy, but my body won't let me. There's so many "projects that I want to do around the house...but no energy to do them. Yesterday I started back on my B complex vitamins. I'm hoping it will help me get some energy. I guess I'll wait and see. About 3 months ago my dad was diagnosed with mouth cancer. He had a lump in the bottom of his mouth under his tongue that wouldn't go away. My dad is a heavy drinker/smoker. He went to an oral surgeon and they did a biopsy which came back malignant. After that they did numorous tests and the tests showed that the cancer was only in his mouth. But after doing a PET scan, it showed that the cancer spread to both lymph nodes on each side of his neck. Not good. So, he then had a surgery to put in a feeding tube and port-a-cath for the chemo to go in. He's been going through radiation and chemo every since. He only has two weeks left of the treatments thank God. But he's not doing good now. He's lost over 25lbs and he was slender before. He's losing his beard and he has a yeast infection in his mouth. He can't eat and can hardly talk. Today when he went to radiation, they admitted him into the hospital because he was severely dehydrated. It's almost like he has given up. He doesn't give himself enough fluids. He's suppose to put at least 4 cans of boost in his feeding tube everyday. But he sleeps most of the time and doesn't feed himself as much as he should. I really hope these treatments will get rid of his cancer. He's going through hell right now. I hope these next 2 weeks fly by for him. Well, enough rambling for me today. I'm going to go run some errands and try to feel better. Thanks for reading.Jessica
Replies
sorry for what you dads going through. Are you on any meds for the depression? Hope so marilyn
i\'m sorry he\'s going through all this. i hope he can quit smoking too. take care. try to relax. love and hugs, meg