FUCK MAN.... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO..... MY DAUGHTER'S ADOPTED PARENTS CALLED ME ABOUT TWO HOURS AGO LETTING ME KNOW THAT THEY ARE IN OHIO..... THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I CAN SEE HER RIGHT NOW.... SHE IS 6 YEARS OLD I HAVE NOT SEEN HER SINCE SHE WAS 3 DAYS OLD.... I DON'T WANT HER TO WONDER...... YEAH I WANT TO MEET MY DAUGHTER AND ALL BUT RIGHT NOW I AM NOT STABLE ENOUGH TO MEET HER.... I WANT TO WAIT.... I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW BUT HOW CAN YOU SAY NO TO A PREACHER?!?!? I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE STRESS RIGHT NOW..... I KNOW HOW IT IS GOING TO BE FOR ME TO SEE MY DAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS..... I AM GOING TO KNOW HER IN A WAY.... BUT SHE IS NOT GOING TO KNOW ME.... I AM ALSO JUST SCARED THAT THEY ARE GOING TO TRY TO TALK ME INTO TAKING HER INTO MY CUSTODY SO THAT SHE CAN BE WITH HER REAL MOTHER.... BARBARA METIONED IT WHEN WE TALKED ON THE PHONE EARLIER.... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO HERE? I'M SO CONFUSED AND SCARED..... I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS...... I TALKED TO MY COUNSELOR TODAY ABOUT IT WHEN I CALLED TO CANCEL MY APPOINTMENT TODAY...... SHE HAD ASKED IF I HAD HEARD ANYTHING FROM HER ADOPTED PARENTS YET.... I TOLD HER THAT THEY HAD CALLED EARLIER TO LET ME KNOW THAT THEY WERE STILL IN INDIANA AND THAT THEY'D CALL ME WHEN THEY GOT IN OHIO..... SO I HAVE TO CALL HER TOMORROW TO LET HER KNOW ABOUT THE CALL TONIGHT..... BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR TONIGHT? I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE STRESS AND PAIN OF MEETING HER.... THIS IS SO HARD.... SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO..... I'M REALLY SCARED ABOUT THIS.....
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oh goodness huney, you need to call them and tell them and you need to do it asap, please baby, i wish you would have done it when they called the first time, but its ok, its all ok, you really need to tell them please baby for me i love you so much
morning! - - what an emotional rollar coaster you have on your hands. if i were in your position, i would be truthful with them; right now! - - my concern is with the child; what the hell is going on? - now they don\'t want her? why? these are questions that come to my mind. and what kind of life will she have, living with people that don\'t want her? you have some heavy and life changing things to decide here and i can\'t tell you what to do- if it were me; i would think about taking here into my life-i can\'t imagine how she feels knowing they don\'t want her. this might be gods way of helping you to come around and straighten things out with you. i will tell you to go to god in prayer and he will show you the way!!! i think you can do it; be a great mom i mean; i think you are stronger then you think. i think this is what you need. hugssssssssssss!!! - and loads of love, weezie :0)