WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF??? I WANT TO GO KILL MYSELF SO BAD RIGHT NOW. BUT FOR SOME REASON I STAY ON HERE. WHY? I AM READY TO DIE, I WANT TO DIE, I NEED TO DIE. I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. I HAVE NO HOPE OF GETTING OVER THIS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I WON'T. I WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER. I WILL BE SICK LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE