I CUT MYSELF TO TAKE THE PAIN. I COULDN'T RESIST. I FAILED ALL OF YOU THAT WAS TRYING SO HARD TO HELP ME. I FALIED MYSELF. MY APOLOGIES ARE DEEP AND FROM MY HEART. BUT I DO FEEL BETTER NOW. I REGRET WHAT I DID. I AM GOING TO START OVER NOW. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO TRIED TO HELP MEĀ  GET OUT OF THIS. AND I AM AGAIN VERY SORRY FOR LETTING YOU ALL DOWN.