I AM A BURDEN TO THE WORLD. I AM HELPLESS AND HOPELESS BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. I DON'T WANT TO CALL FOR HELP AGAIN. I'VE SAID IT IN MY PREVIOUS ENTRY. I CALLED EARLIER AND THEY HELPED ME NONE. I CAN TRY TO AGAIN BUT I JUST CAN'T. MY FRIEND IS AGAIN TRYING TO TALK ME INTO GOING TO THE ER AND TELLING THEM WHAT IS GOING ON. BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN. I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PSYCH HOSPITAL. YES I DO BELIEVE THAT RIGHT NOW I SHOULD BE THERE BUT NO!!!!!!!!! THEY NEVER HELPED ME BEFORE WHEN I WAS THERE. AND I HAVE BEEN THERE MANY OF TIMES SINCE DECEMBER OF 2005. 25+ TO BE EXACT. AND THE LAST TIME THAT I WAS THERE WAS IN JANUARY. I WANT TO GIVE UP SOOOOOO BAD BUT SOMETHING WON'T LET ME.
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Look at the picture of your little neice. You are not a burden to her and I bet she loves your smile just as much as you love hers.
I have been in the psychiatric ward a few times, I know it is not a pleasant experience! But, it helps if you need it and feel like going there. I was recently hospitalized for my panic disorder, but I was only in the ER for a few hours. They gave me IV Ativan (anti-anxiety). I take Xanax for anxiety now, and it does help. I have a good doctor!