I AM DONE. I AM GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF DOING THINGS THAT DON'T EVEN HELP ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I HAVE NOT SLEPT IN LIKE 2 DAYS, AND IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF STRESS AND OTHER CRAP THAT IS GOING ON. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. I NEED HELP AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN ANYMORE.
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I was right where you are this summer for almost 5 months. God restored me after my many prayers. I am closer to God again. I had never been so depressed ever. I am a grandmother, married, 4 grown kids, 2 teens at home; problems I never faced found me this summer. Could\'nt sleep, eat or even clean house. I lost weight & got sick with flue. Being sick made me realize i was doing it to myself. I am doing ok now. I prayed this prayer a friend gave me over & over again. \"I plead the blood of Jesus Christ & God the father to help me\". At times I stated exactly what I needed. I fell asleep with that prayer on my lips every nite for weeks. Please don\'t think I am preaching. God is not done with me. I am not perfect.
Maybe this scripture can help too. A friend gave me this scripture when I was younger:
Isaiah 54:8
In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.
Prayer has been the only thing that helped me all my life. The power of prayer is so great. God kept you here for a reason. You have much love in you and you can share with others when the solutions come to you and in turn you can help them. I am sure all who have read your journal is praying for you.
I had to make myself go to bed earlier. I stopped drinking colas & caffeine drinks. I take vitamins & now only stay up real late one nite a week. That nite I treat myself to a movie or show I like. Thru every trial we go thru we gain something that makes us stronger & wiser. Don\'t give up. You are so young. Think of dreams you have & remember this. Our dreams are God\'s way of showing the good things he has in store for us. My motto: LIVE WELL, LIVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN.
I forgot it for awhile but I am now back. Thank God. Prayers from me to God for you..
I forgot to say that I am not bi polar but I was depressed for the first real time in my life. I do know & understand about BP because one of my sweet daughters is BP. If she had died when her 2 yr old found her after she over dosed I would have wanted to die too. But God saved her. He knew we all in our family needed her love, her sweet phone calls, her funny sense of humor & all the love she gives us. We couldn\'t have it any other way. We needed her in our lives like your family needs you. Life is never easy but worth the struggles.