Where to begin? have been wanting to write but never seem to have the time or energy..last week I had a little talk with my priest feel intimidated sometimes by him, but anyway I went because we are looking for a new mtg place for the CF group, I went to ask about that ,then he asked me, who are you crying for? I didnt really know how to answer then I said I believe for Ashley, he asked why, why because she had her whole life ahead of her..he said dont cry for her she is in the best place there is that of course as a mom I cry for myself because of course I miss her so much..he said she is up there saying come on mom stop it already..I wasnt sure how to take all of this at least he talked with me and it was the 1st time he offered to...I wish I had that much faith , because that is all I really have, if I dont have that then , there is nothing , Ashley is just dead, so then I have to believe, but it is so darn hard I dont want faith I want her !!! another argument with Kate, she hasnt and doesnt do anything doesnt help with any housework at all , wont even clean her room, I had to tell her to get all 10 plus glasses out of her room, cause I am running out og them!! then she throws them in the sink for me to clean ,mold and all!!! oh I get so mad..then last night had to go to practice with Theresa and Lauren, came home to a mess Kate left food out and of course a sink full of dishes!! and she wants me to get her a cell phone and plan and but of course when she finally actually starts to work will give me her 1st pay, Yea right not falling for that one again, never seems to work that way!!! oh well and all this just seems to put me more into a slump, before Ashley's accident I could keep up with everything, I wouldnt let them get away with this and now I try to dicipline her and she turned around and yelled at me I cant to this, I said do what you dont do anything, I came home she was sitting in frt of the tv which she does everyday and night! cant wait till she actually gets scheduled to work, cause I cant stand coming home and seeing her sit and do nothing but want everything, her 2 sisters help out there is no reason she cant she is 16 and lazy, she is now using Ashley has an excuse I cant be Ashley told her never expected her to be but I do expect you to help , like the rest of the family!!!!!! need to breathe.......