Ok Holiday over, thank goodness... my brother flew in from Florida ,that was nice we had a nice visit, kept the emotions in till after Easter dinner, then had a little melt down, I just miss Ashley so much...now back to work, wish I didnt have to! I is hard enough getting out of bed each day let alone having to get to work.... on another note,Kate went to a job interview Mon and got the job! yes , now to get her working papers, at least she will now get out of the house a few hrs each day instead of sitting in front of the tv all night,we will see, it has to get better, her room is gross, I am just learning to shut the door, why get myself upset if she wants to live like a slob , ....we are doing a room for her sister ,in the attic she wants her own room and now Kate of course is saying its not fair, why does she get a new room?? then she wanted to move Lauren out of her room ,which she shares with Theresa, when she moves in the attic, I said no way you are not destroying another room, of course not fair ,so much for being the oldest etc etc. well if she did something to help out and took care of what she has then maybe but I am not letting her ruin that room too.....maybe this job will teach her some responsibility???maybe.....well keep trying to tell myself I have to go on , yet this hole in my heart is ssssoooo big, I feel so empty, God how one person could change everything!!!