Ok well have many issues, first I have been reading almost eveything I can , I want to know if there really is life after death, I have read abook from a psychic, and one of the paragraphs he wrote ,for the parent who loses a child tragically in an accident, the child was fulfilling his or her mission, the parent was fulfilling that mission too. Tha parents are in that circumstance to learn a lesson. Maybe that lesson was patience,love ,accepctance,understanding,comfort of others. It can be a number of things. I guess this fits the expression everything happens for a reason, I have a problem with this you mean my daughter was killed because I need to learn a lession? her life was taken because of me? how cruel is that? so she cant live because of me?you mean all of these kids were killed or died because of lessons..I dont get it she lived an honest and caring life and she was killed...another issue I talked to my sister in law this weekend havent talked to her months..she asked me how close to my mom I was? I said very close well she goes I dont know how to say this w/out being mean? when they come up they dont want my mom there they want to visit w/out her here, this after her telling me how close she was to her mom her best friend etc ,I guess that only applies to her and her mom, (my mother in law died 4 months before Ashley)and then I had said to her earlier that I not only lost my daughter but I lost my best friend, so with that she says to me , well which is it ? are you best friends with your mom or Ashley? my mouth dropped ,I quickly told her yknow its 2 different things, I then told her what will you say to your daughter when she asks you are you my bets friend or your mom? I cant believe she said that to me..Am I being too crazy? that hurt,then she said because my mom didnt even go into the wake to see Ashley that she couldnt care as much as she claims, well I came back to her and said yknow I didnt even go in I seen her away and started to break down cause that did not look like my Ashley white and no color that wasnt her, My brother didnt go in either he wanted to remember her the way she was , bubbly with a great amile not lifeless and I agree looking a t a person in a coffin isnt for everyone..I am so upset . tell me am I wrong , why am I not allowed to be close to my mom ,she comes up eveyweeknd we have gone to church together since I was a child.she was and is always there for me no she isnt perfect but who is?then she told me she talked to my sister in law ,who we havent talked with for over 5 yrs, so I think I know where some of this is coming but how can you tell someone that ok its ok for me to have been best friends with my mom but its not ok for you and then say well which is it your mom or your daughter? and Ashley was 17 her daughter is only 5 ,she couldnt even have that type of relationship yet with hers, my Ashley was an adult ..I am so mad and hurt I dont know I just need to blow off some steammm..I have gotten more compassion from strangers than family how very sad......
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THERE ARE HEARTLESS PEOPLE EVERYWHERE...RELATED OR NOT..THEY JUST WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND UNTIL THEY GO THROUGH IT THERE SELF...I WOULDNT WISH THIS HEARTACHE AS WE HAVE ON ANYBODY...
MY HEART IS WITH YOU AND HUGGIN U TIGHT...AND I ALSO HAVE GOTTEN MORE FROM MY FRIENDS HERE THAN ANYWHERE...COULDNT MADE IT WITH OUT U ALL..AND STILL HAVE A LONG ROAD TO TRAVEL.......LOVE YA****DIANA
Kim, I agree with Diana. There are people who will never understand. My father often says to me to beware of well-meaning people. Also I don\'t agree with the book you read. I too have spent many nights reading about the afterlife. From my readings I have learned, Jake\'s was a true accident caused by the freewill of man. And that accidents do happen. I never believed God struck Jake down because it was his time to go. Or that I needed to be taught a lesson. My God doesn\'t work like that. My God is giving me the strength to face everyday, to keep moving forward. If you haven\'t I recommend Hello From Heaven. It is written by Bill & Judy Guggenheim. it helped me alot. Lots of hugs, Jake\'s mom, Kathy
People just don\'t know. I think they are cluess. I think they just don\'t know what to say, but what they do say is crazy. Thinking of You, Josh\'s Mama Rhonda
Kim,I have found that it is no use trying to over analyse anything coz of the simple reason that it doesnt change anything.Our qs cannot be answered by anyone.As for your s.i.l. she is not qualified to comment on this issue coz she is not in our situation.So CHILL.Hugs.
You are right I have to look and see were it is coming from, but it bothers me that they need to attack my mom when she has been there always for me....
there\'s alot of cruel people out there.i\'m not real close to my mom but i still think of her as a friend she\'s always been there for me.people that haven\'t lost a child don\'t know how we feel.you are on the right road keep it up.hugsjfm24,vicki
Why is your sister inlaw bad mouthing your mother? I wish I could say my mom and I are very close, and who is she to tell you that you can\'t have your own mother, in your own home? She is what I call toxic. Sometimes you have to distance yourself from the the toxic people in your life. I had them close the casket for Shannon, because it did not look like her at all and I did not want anyone to remember her that way and besides it was not her anymore. Thank-you for the prayers for my son Kim. Love, Dianne
People who can\'t visit and tolerate someone else for a short while shouln\'t be visiting. STAY HOME! Also who would make you choose between a best friend or daughter, you are many things to many people at different times in their and your life. I also have done alot of reading. Our children\'s death are not to teach us a lesson. Why would others have to suffer along with us. Lesson may come from this and may prove to be very worthwile but I don\'t think that\'s the cause. It just happens, there is sadness all over the news. It\'s just usually to other people and now we are the other people. What I\'ve come to feel most comfortable with is found in a small book I read titled Tragedy or Destiny? I don\'t know if you are religious but how much the Lord causes to happen and how much he merely permits is something I cannot answer. We all have free agency and if that was taken from us we would hate it. On the other hand free agency can cause great pain. One day we will understand the reasons. Right now we just learn to live by plan b since plan a didn\'t work the way we expected. This book goes on to say \"If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be a calamity. If we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the pre-earth past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective. If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, then free agency would be ended and no man would have to live by faith. If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there could be no evil - all would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strenth, no development of character, no growh of powers. Pretty deep but thought provoking atleast. Sorry this was so long. Hoping your sis-in-law has a change of heart and things work out. Love Robin
I hope we cansomehow find some answers, Love to you.