Well finally Friday! I feel very down today, last night was hard ,going to Ashley's highschool so many memories she spent so much time there.I have tried to keep my emotions at bay and not to cry ,I guess I didnt do too bad..But that doesnt take away any pain I do remember her in happy times but It hurts so darn much I want her back, I want to see her graduate and be with her friends,to enjoy her life not to have it ripped away from her before she even has a time to experience it..I know I have a long hard road ahead of me ,I wish sometimes I could just let go and ease my pain but I havent been able to do that, how do I just let her go! I loved her more than life itself and now I dont know what or how to continue....
Replies
Surrender to God, tell him you need help and can\'t carry the load yourself. I have done this everynite this week, I talk to Jake and then God and ask to be forgived and to help me carry the load. This week has been a little easier. That\'s not to say I don\'t cry but they are tears of sadness and missing him. Alittle less pain. I will continue turning my sorrow over to God until the day I can carry it myself. Lots of hugs, Kathy
I walked the halls of NCHS a couple of weeks ago. Yes, it was very hard. I was there to drop off pictures of Kala for the year book. She\'s being honored on several pages for various things and I had to take more pictures of her. With every step I took I thought, Kala walked here. Kala entered this door. Kala put her books in this locker. Kala sat in this desk. Kala loved this teacher. I cried coming and going.
And I don\'t think we ever let go of them. I know for me I never plan to. I don\'t mean to play on words but I plan to take Kala with me everywhere I go. I plan to share her life every opportunity I get. I plan to make her proud of me. To me that\'s not letting go, that\'s holding on.
It\'s going to take time...there\'s that word again...but it\'s true. With everything we do for the first time \"after\" it will be hard. I pray you can find some comfort in knowing that your friends, me included, are here for you.
Smiling for Kala,
Teri
I don\'t think we \"let them go\"