At my desk monday morning Im feeling exhausted and sick A wonderful combo..I had a rough night I havent been able to sleep lately I keep going over the accident in my head I dont know why I try to think of other things but I wake up and its the first thing I think about..I wish the state police would get their report done so maybe I could put it to rest, Its hard enough w/out thinking of that also.I am going to try and get Ashleys head stone ordered, I keep trying but end up breaking down I was telling my father in law last night what we wanted to do and I just start crying, I wish I didnt have to do this.. It hurts so bad, why did this have to happen .well I will try and get thru work today ..at least the sun is out,just have to get rid of all this snow again....
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It is hard to think about other things, when we are going through such a tough time. I still have thoughts about \"what if\" and I know I probley always will. The headstone for Michelle was really tough, my husband was the strong one and so was our boys. We each picked something that we liked. I wish you didnt have to do it and I wish I didnt have to do it, but as my husband said It has to be done. Take care and remember greiving takes time and one step at a time.....Pam