Warming up nicely ! I just wish I was in a different time! Im at work I keep going to do something then forget what I was doing sometimes I feel like Im ninety yrs old. I wish I could have my old life back, Im missing it so badly worrying about how I was going to pay for Ashley's college seems such a small thing now, wish that was all I had on my mind! she would of made a great veterinarian! she was getting a little nervous questioning if that is what she wanted to do, but I know if that is what she wanted she would have done it when she set her mind to something she achieved it, she was such a wonderful young lady, always helping others,always worried about the other person, God I miss her so much,life just isnt fair I sit at my desk and wonder How the heck I got here! how did this happen, how come she had to come back home ,why? my life is forever changed and will never be happy I will go thru just to get by but I dont think I will ever be happy again how could this have happened! it stinks.....
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I know exactly how you feel. But you have 3 children who are still here. They need you, even on those days when it is the worst. Also try to draw some comfort from them. I feel a little better when ever Matt is around. He doesn\'t replace Jake, he can\'t. But it helps having him near me. It will get easier, I don\'t know when but it will. God would not let us live our lives in complete dispare. You will never forget her, you will always love and miss her, I know I will Jake but we cannot change the circumstance. Every day I wish I could. But I\'m here for you.....Kathy
You will be happy again. It is just going to take time. You will learn how to smile again. You will learn to smile again when you think of Ashley. We were all at the same place you are at now. I remember people telling me that I would smile and live again and I thought they were crazy. But they were right, I am smiling, I am living and yes, I still get sad, I still have meltdowns and I still cry.You have to give yourself time and I promise it will happen. hugs for you today....Pam