OK its wed night had my couseling session I guess it went ok, but I dont think he really can understand he even said today they say losing a child is the worst kind of loss,I dont know who they is? but I guess it cant hurt.today was my husband's birthday,he stayed home ,Ashley always made the birthday cakes ,she loved to bake! I hate this!I wish this was all a bad dream but of course its not, I have been feeling so depressed lately losing energy,its like it has really sunk in Ashley is dead.I keep picturing her in that car,and lying in that hospital bed, then finally in that damn coffin,I want to think of better times and remember her then, but its not better times its the worst time of my life, I want to hold her and talk to her and hear her voice,I want her to come home to me!!why did my life have to take this route? I hate it .I feel nothing but pain right now....
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thinking of you today and sent message.......Pam
I know your pain. When ever I have a bad thought, I try to think of a good thought. Sometimes it works. Ashley will always be with you. She is now your guardian angel. I talk to Jake all the time, about everything and anything. Acceptance is the hardest step, but when we can get there, we can then celebrate and honor our children. Lots of hugs and prayers, Kathy
try to remember the happy memories with ashley. i know i have to keep telling myself to remember the happy smiling Gavin, not the one those last few days in the pic unit. read the poem posted in the the bereavement discussion, it is really good.
i know that nothing will ever heal the hole in my heart, but i can not let it change me. i have to be strong.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
jan