Well made it thru another day, Today My husband went with me to church,he usually doesnt go he really isnt catholic but today they where having a blood drive..Ashley had come back home the day of her accident because she forgot her permission form to give blood at school thay day, so Terry had made up his mind he would give for her because she wanted to do it, and the 1st time she gave blood was at our church..well we went to the 8am mass and we both started crying during mass its so hard! but we went over after and both of us gave blood it was the 1st time I had ever given and I was so nervousbut I just layed there and kept saying to myself Ashley this is for you! I miss her so badly. it hurts to see over mom's with there daughters and knowing I will never have that again,yes I have other daughters but I can never replace Ashley! one of Ashley's Fusion color guard coaches came up today she is helping me with Ashley's scholarship, she is wonderful, it makes me feel good knowing Ashley made such an impression on so many people! I just wish I could hug her again and tell her I love her..I did have another arguement with Kate Fri night,she was mad no one was going to her show, but she didnt let anyone know till the last minute and we where already going to Theresa's bball game,I talked with kate in the begining of the seson and told her I cant go to all of her comp right now its too painfull,I did tell her I would go see her but right know I dont think I can make it,its so hard I just dont have the strength sometimes I just want to go and find a hole and crawl init , I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up the pain is so hard its devastating,I hear now in the news and papers and other web sites about young kids and children dying and it hurts! I have become so aware of such a terrible place we live in there are so many parents going thru hell .I never realized how many children die everyday Its so heartbreaking , now it hits home like a brick..sometimes I have to wonder why God would allow so much pain and sorrow in this world I dont understand, and I know I will never understand, all I know is I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life.
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You did move your smiley up one, and that is a accomplishment, baby steps........Will send a message soon..........Pam
We all live with the unbearable pain of losing our children. The pain will lessen but your love for her will never. I draw some comfort knowing I will one day see him again. As for God, I do not blame him for what happened. I tend to think He was just as shocked to see Jake in heaven as we were when he left us. God bless!
Kathy
Our thoughts and Prayers are always with you. Sorry you are going through the unimaginable. God give you strength. Please Dear Lord
While at a Compasionate Friends group last month a man said, \"God doesn\'t kill our children, accidents, sickness, murders and so on do.\"
Another person thought Satan was the cause. So maybe? khillman9 is correct God may have been shocked to see Ashley.
What do you think?
I dont blame God for the accident I blame the idiot who was speeding and not paying attention,but I dont understand why Ashley was allowed to live for over a week ,she woke up was able to blink her eyes to answer questions went thru surgerys and was heading in the right direction and there must have been 200 friends and family praying for her , why did he not help! why couldnt she have been given a little boost she would have done the rest! Im just very hurt he didnt answer our prayers..I dont know I just still cannot believe she is no longer with me Ill never watch her go to college or get married it just hurts so much..