34 weeks-going to cry......

I seriously think I'm going to cry or scream or something. I just had a whole journal entry wrote and this stupid computer messed up and it closed out of it. I'll try to remember what I wrote. WOW!!! I only have 40 days left. We are getting down to the wire. Our little Brayden will be here soon. The panic is starting to kick in. The baby shower went GREAT. We had around 50 people show up. I couldnt believe how generious people were. I think they know just how long we've been waiting for this baby. We only have one gift bag full of stuff that needs returned. We didnt get a whole lot of duplicates, which is great for as many people that came. We'll probably have some diapers and clothes to return eventually, because we got a bunch of newborn and size 1 diapers and lots of 0-3 months clothes. The panic is from my house being in complete and total caos. There's baby stuff EVERYWHERE! We got a really nice gliding chair and its still sitting in our kitchen. We've carried so much stuff upstairs to the babies room but theres still stuff all over my living room. Braydens room has stuff everywhere also. I need to get some of his stuff washed where I can atleast make his bed. On top of all the baby stuff. I've been so busy and exhusted from the baby shower, not getting home till after 6 every night, and of course not sleeping at night (its so hard to get comfortable, then when you finally do you have to get up to pee) that I havent got anything done with my house. The dishes need done, the tub needs cleaned, the laundry needs done......pretty much everything you can think of needs done. It looks like I live in a pigs pin. I told my husband I hope the nesting stage kicks in soon. My husband tries to help as much as he can but he doesnt get home till late either and by the time we eat its time to start getting ready for bed again. Monday I have another doctors app. then I was supposed to come to work and work 3 hours so I decided to just take vacation and try to get something done at the house. I told my boss if I dont get something done and the baby decided to come early I'll have to call someone from the hospital to go clean my house where I can bring the baby home. LoL. The only other thing bothering me is I really want to take the full 12 weeks maternity leave, but worried about my finances while I'm off because I'll only get paid for 6 weeks. My husband is still waiting on a settlement from his car accident 2 1/2 years ago. They keep saying soon. We though 100% for sure we'd have it before the baby came but now we dont know. If we get the money I'd like to take 12 weeks if we dont get the money theres no way I can take 12 weeks off. The only problem with that is my work needs to know ASAP if I'm taking 6 or 12 weeks, and I dont really have an answer yet. We talked to the laywer lastnight and hes waiting on the other womans laywer to get a court date set I guess its her laywers responsibility. Everythings already settled we just have to get a judge to ok it....you'd think that would take like 5 mins right? NOT! So he said he'll bug the womans laywer this week and if by next week he still hasnt heard anything then he'll try to do things himself, if he can. So just pray everything goes through and we get a court date before March then I wont have to worry about things anymore. Enough about troubles and worries. Monday my doctors appointment went good. I ended up gaining 4lbs in a week but I wasnt upset because I'd only gained 1lb the last month or 2. She said I'm measuring fine. Since shes giving me the kick count sheet he has done really good with his kicks besides Thursday and Friday he hardly moved at all. When I told her he didnt move very well and I decided to wait till morning before I went to the hospital she wasnt too happy. She said I should NEVER wait till morning. If he doesnt kick according to that chart I'm supposed to go to the hospital immediatly. I think its kind of crazy to go to the hospital everytime he has a lazy day. We all know how lazy my baby is I can hardly ever feel him kick. I'd be at the hospital 2 or 3 times a week. But on the other hand I'd feel horrible if I didnt go to the hospital and something was wrong. So its a toss up between going to the hospital or waiting it out. This week hes done great. No trouble getting the kick count at all. Today hes being a little lazy but still kicking enough. She checked my cervics and said its really far back and still closed. Which I take it to mean hes not coming anytime soon. I dont know what it means that its really far back??? Other than that...thats about it. I go back Monday again to be measured and hooked up to the monitor. This once a week stuff is going to kill me. I cant wait till he gets here. Well I better go. I know theres something else I wanted to say but it has slipped my mind. Oh well. Maybe I'll remember later. Hugs Monica.