First Entry
On 06/05/13 I woke up to pain in my left shoulder that quickly became back pain. It first felt like I had pulled something in my shoulder, then the pain in my back (left side, ribs) felt kind of like air bubbles. Two weeks earlier I had a hysterectomy and I thought...ok...here goes the air bubbles that I hadn't previously felt. I remember praying for the pain to go away. I mean, this was the two week mark....the time that I was supposed to start feeling better you know. Well, my prayers were not answered, the pain was steady, sharp at times, it was just better if I didn't move...didn't breath to deep. My Husband was scheduled to go back to work the next day and he kept asking me if I needed to go to the ER. I said no, it's just a pulled muscle...maybe some air bubbles.
On 06/06/13 After a night of no sleep...I stayed out in the living room so my Hubby could sleep as he had to go to work. I called my Doctor's office to ask what I should do. She said to go to the ER. I must say this was NOT what I wanted to hear! As I could not drive I called my daughter to come pick me up and take me as she did not have to work till later that day. My Doctor called ahead to the ER so that when I got there I was taken right back. I have to say that I was not prepared for the attention I rcvd! I must have looked like death warmed over as I was immediately put on oxygen, gowned, IV inserted and taken for x-rays. A nurse later told me that I was pale with blue lips. Unfortunately the pain that I was in quickly escalated during my CAT scan as they had to lay me down for that. Something I had not been able to do for over 24 hours due to the pain. As I was laying there in the CAT scan room...each breath I took felt like there was something in my lung moving around with each breath...sand...a rock...a boulder. When they rolled me back to my little cubicle in the ER I was barely able to breath...each breath in seized...spasm like...I had a death grip on the bed rails and I was trying to do everything I could to keep from screaming as I did not want to scare my daughter. Unfortunately moans were coming out of my mouth...I was unable to stifle them. All I could think is...my daughter should not be seeing me like this...she shouldn't...thank the Lord I am not alone...but I wish I could have spared her this. Then came what I thought would be my saving grace....Pain Meds!!! Quickly found out that Morphine didn't touch it, Dilated first dose didn't touch it, finally after another dose of Dilated and a dose of Tramadol the pain started to ease up. After 3 hours I was finally able to let go of the side rails and sit back...still in pain...but it was doable. Then the Doctor came in...your CAT scan was positive he said. I blinked...positive for what? You have multiple pulmonary embolisms, three in your right lung and 2 in your left. I was in shock...I mean...I am only 41 years old! Why am I only feeling pain on my left side? He told me that I had slight pleurisy do to the inflammation and my heart was slightly enlarged. (I later found out that a lot of people die without feeling any pain from PE's...Thank you Lord for not answering my prayer...thank you for allowing me to feel that pain!) I was admitted and started on Heparin then Coumadin. Tons of blood work and my second night of no sleep...I was wondering when the healing was going to start. I was released a week later, I still had stabbing chest pain but it wasn't as bad and I was able to breath deep as long as I concentrated on doing so. Talking and walking at the same time was something I still could not do. I have to say that I was so happy when I found out that the testing for the INR was a finger prick! My poor arms were bruise from my hands to by elbows...I had 6 IV sticks that were healing and multiple blood draw sites. (my veins had decided that they no longer wanted to cooperate!) My first INR three days after I was released from the hospital was a 6! That was when reality hit..or rather...MY reality hit...that was when I became slightly terrified of everything...when I realized...I...can't...handle...this! That was when I had to work daily...hourly...on keeping it real. My mantra is...I am still here...I can breath...I can do this.
On 06/06/13 After a night of no sleep...I stayed out in the living room so my Hubby could sleep as he had to go to work. I called my Doctor's office to ask what I should do. She said to go to the ER. I must say this was NOT what I wanted to hear! As I could not drive I called my daughter to come pick me up and take me as she did not have to work till later that day. My Doctor called ahead to the ER so that when I got there I was taken right back. I have to say that I was not prepared for the attention I rcvd! I must have looked like death warmed over as I was immediately put on oxygen, gowned, IV inserted and taken for x-rays. A nurse later told me that I was pale with blue lips. Unfortunately the pain that I was in quickly escalated during my CAT scan as they had to lay me down for that. Something I had not been able to do for over 24 hours due to the pain. As I was laying there in the CAT scan room...each breath I took felt like there was something in my lung moving around with each breath...sand...a rock...a boulder. When they rolled me back to my little cubicle in the ER I was barely able to breath...each breath in seized...spasm like...I had a death grip on the bed rails and I was trying to do everything I could to keep from screaming as I did not want to scare my daughter. Unfortunately moans were coming out of my mouth...I was unable to stifle them. All I could think is...my daughter should not be seeing me like this...she shouldn't...thank the Lord I am not alone...but I wish I could have spared her this. Then came what I thought would be my saving grace....Pain Meds!!! Quickly found out that Morphine didn't touch it, Dilated first dose didn't touch it, finally after another dose of Dilated and a dose of Tramadol the pain started to ease up. After 3 hours I was finally able to let go of the side rails and sit back...still in pain...but it was doable. Then the Doctor came in...your CAT scan was positive he said. I blinked...positive for what? You have multiple pulmonary embolisms, three in your right lung and 2 in your left. I was in shock...I mean...I am only 41 years old! Why am I only feeling pain on my left side? He told me that I had slight pleurisy do to the inflammation and my heart was slightly enlarged. (I later found out that a lot of people die without feeling any pain from PE's...Thank you Lord for not answering my prayer...thank you for allowing me to feel that pain!) I was admitted and started on Heparin then Coumadin. Tons of blood work and my second night of no sleep...I was wondering when the healing was going to start. I was released a week later, I still had stabbing chest pain but it wasn't as bad and I was able to breath deep as long as I concentrated on doing so. Talking and walking at the same time was something I still could not do. I have to say that I was so happy when I found out that the testing for the INR was a finger prick! My poor arms were bruise from my hands to by elbows...I had 6 IV sticks that were healing and multiple blood draw sites. (my veins had decided that they no longer wanted to cooperate!) My first INR three days after I was released from the hospital was a 6! That was when reality hit..or rather...MY reality hit...that was when I became slightly terrified of everything...when I realized...I...can't...handle...this! That was when I had to work daily...hourly...on keeping it real. My mantra is...I am still here...I can breath...I can do this.
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