Where do I ever begin? I'm not quite sure if anyone else creates another world of their own, but I certainly do. I have two worlds that I live in. One of course is reality. And the other, which I call a "non-existing world". A world I have created in the depths of my mind, an illusion, a dream that could never be real. This world was created for a purpose,  it was my escape. My comfort zone. I could be my true self in it and be real in a way that is hard to explain and describe to others. "My non-existing" world gave me the opportunity to relive life to become stronger, build me up with confidence, and explore a happier way of coping with everyday life. I have a fear, a phobia with facing reality and my past. I run away from everything to avoid it. I wish I could face them but I just can't. I try my hardest but keep failing to succeed in becoming non-fearable of everything that's going on around me. I want to trust people but find it hard to. I want to love people but find that hard too. I shut people (friends + families) out of my life, thinking that it's the best thing to do, and so it'll lead me in becoming a better person in the end. At the same time I know that in the end will probably be too late. I've made many mistakes just like everyone else, and keep telling myself not to regret and take it as a learning curve occuring at a stage in my life. As I'm having this problem obscuring my mind, I've also got issues dealing with interacting with other people.I'm so shy. My hands become shakey, my throat dries up and can hardly speak. Chapter one shall continue as I might take a rest now considering I have not yet slept since yesterday. Thank you so much for reading! Have an awesome day! xx