OK first journal entry of the new year. Went away for the weekend and enjoyed myself, felt rather un-attractive amongst the beautiful people of London, but all in all had a good time. Got through christmas without meds and still haven't gone to see the doctor. I'm not going to either, this year I'm going to overcome this purely with my own will power, if I can turn my physicaly self around, using my mental strength then I can get out of this depression the same way. I've just got to set little goals, that will lead upto one or two big ones and stay focused. So over the next few days I'll be posting up all my goals for this year. On Friday morning before going away I sat down at my piano and recorded a piec, it just flowed from my fingers and surprised me as to where it came from, take a listen and let me know what you think. I'd love it if you were to listen to it with your eyes closed and let me know what emotions it counjures up. http://www.daveclissold.com/music/Haunting%20Dreams.mp3 Hope the new year has started off well for you all. Dave x
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I felt the same way when I was with pol itical dignitaries. I felt so unattractive, and I kept thinking how I hadn\'t purchased new clothing or had a new hairdo in over a year. The self doubt was eating away at me while I sat their trying to avoid talking to them.
I believe in you. I believe that you can turn yourself around and build up your self esteem. Stay focused, and when you loose focus talk your friends.
I really enjoyed listening to your piano playing. Thank you for sharing this beautiful gift to your friends here on DS and letting us listen to it.
When I closed my eyes and listened to your piano playing I imagined was by a waterfall that fed into a great lake which was surrounded by beautiful canyons at either edge. In my mind I pictured myself as a bird flying above the canyons and towards the sea.
At the edge of the horizon was a single ship with brilliant ruby red sails which was navigating against an increasingly dangerous oncoming storm. Black billowing clouds filled the sky and the waves began to batter the hull of the ship.
The sailers on the ship were scrambling to repair the damage done to the mast and sails by the pounding of the nwaves. You were near the front of the ship commanding the sailers. You were confident and surefooted.
As the music picked up its tempo I pictured a white schooner making its way towards you ship from the shore. As it neared i noticed that the storm would not touch the ship and that there was light streaming from the heavens onto this ship. I think this ship represents your friends and your inner strength.
The schooner helped your ship to traverse the trecherous waters and back into the safe harbor to repair your masts and other damage.
As soon as the masts were repaired you again ventured forth, yet this time with remarkably different coloring in your sails. Your ship was of a gold hue and shined brilliantly against the sunlight. Like the schooner which protected you, the storm could batter you but you remained strong. Your masts were remade of gold and your sails were pure white.
The last thing I saw was you navigating away from the shore to begin your new adventures where ever they may lead you.
hello Dave,
your music was really beautiful.
i closed my eyes and i felt really peaceful and calm.
i was sitting by a flowing river and i was carried aloft by the breeze and i was flying high above the clouds.
my pain disappeared and my soul felt free.
thankyou for sharing your beautiful gift with me.
lots of extra special love and hugs,
love you,
linda butterfly.
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It is interesting that you and I both experienced flying and clouds.. :)
Dave,hi, thanks 4 sharin your piece wth us,it is amazin,l closed my eyes and was in a world,where no harm comes 2 anyone,there was lovely green grass and blue sky,wth fluffy clouds..l felt as thou l was floatin,in peace,and happiness surrounded me...........you are amazin,thanks 4 that tme of joy.all my love les.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx