Well its xmas eve. Whoopie bloomin doo.  Spotting the excitment here?  All I can think about is Christmas' from past years gone, not able to remember any of them, but how I always asked for the same present and this year is no different.  22 years on and still all I want is a dad.  I feel guilty also because I've not been able to by mum any luxurious gifts this year, a set of saucepans although not cheap, are not really the sort of things you buy your mum for christmas, but its all I could afford and that I could think of.  Am going to run to the local supermarket and by some chocolates, praying that they have something that she'd like.  I feel like a bit of a failure at this time of year as mum always goes over board with the presents and she doesn't have many from me in return.  I know its all about the thought and that but it would just be nice to see mum with more than one or 2 gifts to open.  Well all I'm going to spend the afternoon on my bed, not feeling to good now, thought writing this down would make it easier but its made me feel 10 times worse.  Wishing you all a very very Happy Christmas, hope it gives you plenty of reasons to smile and laugh with your loved ones. Dave x