Woke up feeling a little better but still don't feel like eating. I just feel so sick. Mum wrote me a letter which has eased someof the pain but I will never be able to forget what I have done. Last night I wrote mum a letter in which I told her that I don't feel worthy enough to be a man and how ashamed I am of what happened, she has said what is done is done, bt I feel that inside she won't ever forgive me for it. Well today I feel a little motivated to sort out a few things, before I can properly move on I need to a few loose ends and remove all things from the past that are lingering so that I can make a clean break and properly start again. I am considering moving somewhere different and starting again but only really have on option and thats London which I don't really want to consider as I tried it once before and didn't enjoy it, the big city doesn't really like us country folk.I really don't know how to thank you all enough for all the support you are showing me and the love and warmth that I can feel in your words of kindness. Perhaps oneday I will be travelling close by and I can buy you a coffee. For now once again THANK YOU from the bootom of my heart.
Replies
ur very welcome Dave,
and i\'ll hold you to that coffee,
lots of extra special love and hugs,
linda butterfly.
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you don\'t have to thank me. i know you\'d do the same. it\'s weird we live pretty close to each other. lots of love and hugs xxxxx
Maybe your mum can now see how you really have been hurting inside. Don\'t ever feel ashamed for feeling the way you did. When people truly hurt inside and feel there is nothing left to live for they show emotions in all kinds of ways. Remember everyone here on this site are here for a reason...we all have our problems, however big or small, some people can relate to others in what is going on in their lives. DS helps me through and I hope it will continue to show you that you have friends here who do care about you. Stay strong. You are doing so well. :-) xxx
I take my coffee with alot of cream and sugar... Glad you woke up feeling a little better, things will change one day at a time. Keep keeping on. I think about you daily... Big warm hugs for you...Angela
i will keep you to that coffee if you move to london as i am only an hour away by train or car xxx
I hope you do find someplace new to live that will help you heal through all of this. it was nice of your mom to write that letter to you. Have you considered telling her how you feel in regards to you feel that from the bottom of her heart she will never forgive you? She might have some words of comfort or advice to give you. (((HUGS))) not sure what else to say but I will always be here for you.