Woke up today feeling a little down but got myself dressed and started the day by having breakfast with mum. Then set about getting a few things down from the loft, after 1/2 hr or so the ladders fell and nearly went through a glass door, I was passing down a few things from the loft.  Mum's temper sored and a series of blasphamy followed which ended up in a huge arrguement and me walking out.   I've just spent the last 3 hours using every bit of will power to refrain from going to the chemist and getting my prescription (not that I've gone in to get it in 3 months) and a load of sleeping tablets and taking the lot with a bottle of whiskey.  I'm just waiting for mum to get home so we can talk but after the text messages I've received i don't think there will be me give on her side and that I'll just be the verbal punch bag again.