I'm getting tired of everything.  Tired of having a brain that remembers everything so vividly, yet can't remember a time when I was happy. Tired of never getting anywhere and having stupid business ideas that I can never follow through with or when I do, hitting a stumbling block and having to start again.Tired of being lonely and never having a real social life unless it was people using my status for their gain.Tired of mum being lonely and only having me as company, I feel so bad for her, she's put her life on hold for me and my sister and now runs herself down and can't find anyone to share her life with, so I have moved back home so that she isn't living a life of solitude.Tired of my phone rarely ringing and when it does never having a friendly voice on the other end asking me how I am or someone just calling for a chat because they want to hear my voice and make sure that I'm ok.Tired of feeling so low that I want to sleep and never wake upTired of never knowing what its like to hold someones hand or to cuddle them on the sofa.Tired of feeling unattractive.  But more importantly Tired of never knowing what love is, what it feels like to be in love and to be loved.