Ok now its been 3 days without the meds and I'm feeling good.  I've been able to train in the gym better and run every day which hasn't happened for months.  The boost of self esteem from being able to train till my muscles are sore has been really good.  Also this morning went and treated myself to an incredible new hand made t-shirt by Affliction (being shallow here but its soooo sexy) might even make me look less ugly than I do) and a great new pair of boots.