Scared
I realized today that things change from moment to moment. All hyped up to get off narcotics. pcp recommend that I make no change. Wrote discussion about my mom. Can't find it. Story of my life. Seems I am forever am lost mentally, physically, spiritually, and functionability. Lost just from moment to moment. Praying seems to be just an active with no answers or improvement. Just trying to hang on by a thread hopefully it won't break.pretty good week earlier with minimum pain, waking upbeat before alarm rings. Earlier in week had critical kidney labs. Normal on repeat. Hair is thinning to point can't do any thing tocover thinning ares. Today urine concentrated, nausea and vomiting. Blood pressure extremely low.drinking fluids. Slightly light headed. Non idea what is going on. Scaredband uncomfortable. Tired. Earlier today bragging about how well I was feeling. With in anhout everything hadbreversed. Cant rely on anything. Still feeling uncomfortable but just keep hanging in there. Mother's day, missing mom. Rambling but don't know what to does it even matters. Just want to feel notmal. At this point don't even remember what normal feels like. Guess I need to remind myyself this to shall pass. But what it is. At this time just putting one foot in front of the other will get me thru this tunnel of despair. Earlier this week would classify My mood as good. Now my moon terrible. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a more positive note.
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***There may be days when you get up in the morning & things aren\'t the way you had hoped they would be***
***That\'s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better*There are times when people disappoint you & let you down***
***But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments & opinions*to keep your life focused on believing in yourself***
***There will be challenges to face & changes to make in your life*it is up to you to accept them***
***Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you*It may not be easy at times* but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are***
***So when the days come that are filled with frustration & unexpected responsibilities*remember to believe in yourself & all you want your life to be***
***Because the challenges & changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you***
***Keep Believing in Yourself ***
I understand how you feel I deal with non-stop chronic nausea/\'inner shaking does it all by itself*fight not to throw up*bowels every which way*non- stop headache on right temple due to enlarged pituitary gland*non- stop dizzy spells* bone pain*latest mass on brain & saying almost blind ha hasn\'t stopped me yet I do not know the word give up you learn to cherish all the simple things & stop & smell the roses as they smell oh so good I will not let any of this beat me I will beat it.
)\\PEACE
(,,\" ).)\\LOVE
(,,\" ))\\HOPE
[](,,\" ))\\ HARMONY
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.........Try to keep all this alive & Faith.
***Many*Blessings***Angel***