As you can tell I am the worse when it comes to writing how I feel at this moment. I would have to say that I have been working really hard and I have now bought a house where its 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Yes for me it is a big house. I have started dating. I went out with a guy name Kareem. He is from samolia to which I know that can not have a future with him but it was really nice to have desert with him and then we went out for tea and shorka I would have to say that it was a very nice time and I really enjoyed myself. Then he had gone away to Cuba for a week to where he will be coming back on Monday. Do I miss him. No I don't think so for the fact that I don't expect anything from him. I thought that he would write me or even call like he promised but at the same time I have only heard from him a few times. To which I feel when I do expect something I it doesn't happen then I am disappointed to where I am not happy. I know that I want someone in my life now. Drew wants me to come out and visit him I know that he is really hurting there but for me to come out there what will that prove. It has been a long time since I have seen him and I know that my feeling for him has really changed. I still think of Mie in Swiss but I know that he is happy in his world. I just hope that I find someone. I really hate my job right now I hate what my life has become I know that I am the one who should change it but at the same time I have no idea on what I can do in my next thing in life. I stopped playing ball and I hate my life. I work 2 jobs 7 days a week. And I get no pleasure out of either of them. I pray that something good comes for me.