Fear.

Fear. It came up in therapy today. I had been talking about a friend of mine and how she plans out entire conversations ahead of time, even thinking about alternate endings and responses she may encounter. My therapist said that some people operate from a position of fear and I agreed with her saying my friend DOES operate from a place of fear but it took a couple of hours before I really applied that statement to myself. It's not a new revealation that I'm afraid ... I think I can just now really see how afraid I am. I've always believed in the saying,"jump and the net will appear." I've proven it true over and over again in my life ... But lately I'm staying put like my feet are nailed to the ground. Unable, no, unwilling, to move. I need to take a leap of faith. I need to believe in myself and trust enough to let the journey awaiting me in and the gifts I possess out. I need to trust ... myself. I want to trust others.