It's as though I  were pummeled with a hammer and my skin turned inside out-- the pain has been focused inward and my shell hides my true self.  I thought I valued life, the simple things.  I thought I knew how wonderful it was to jump out of bed and go about my endless activities without a second thought.Now I do not think, I know.  I know what it is like to have had and now lost.  Why is it one never truly appreciates what one has until it is no longer something they have.  I try to envision my life, feeling just as I do today and I quickly shut my eyes.  For to see what I see and to know what I know.....I prefer the painted pictures in my mind.  The colors are bright and the outlook is without limitation.  I deal with my current reality by focusing on my on going dreams of better days, pain free, energy filled hours of anything that I choose.  My faith, my family, my life as I know it-- one day God willing- Lyme free.