Not a whole lot to report on...been trying to be kind of detached and take it one day at a time.
I haven't been cutting, but I've been burning which isn't good, I know. It just seems like I can get away with it more because the scars don't last as long.
I drank some whiskey the other night and it was so good to get away for a while. I just wanna drink. Ugh.
Everything is stressful and confusing and crazy. My life doesn't suck, I'm just waiting for it to begin. A lot of the time I think the waiting is just as bad as the actual event. I'm scared dude.
I haven't been cutting, but I've been burning which isn't good, I know. It just seems like I can get away with it more because the scars don't last as long.
I drank some whiskey the other night and it was so good to get away for a while. I just wanna drink. Ugh.
Everything is stressful and confusing and crazy. My life doesn't suck, I'm just waiting for it to begin. A lot of the time I think the waiting is just as bad as the actual event. I'm scared dude.
Replies
Please try and keep an eye on your behaviours - self-harm and alcohol (don\'t turn to alcohol as a solution, as this ultimately will just cause more problems). I am glad that you know you want to drink and so can monitor it and prevent it from turning into a problem. I know that we all look for \'escape\' behaviours when we want to \'get away\' from ourselves. You have been doing well and fighting the fight, so keep going strong!
Am glad that you see a beginning ahead which will offer you so many new opportunities as scary as it is. And you\'re right waiting is usually much worse than the actual even. Take care.
so its ike watch this space atm for you, dw things never stay constant you will feel like life is busier and theres more going on soon! hope you can stop the self harm though hun!
\"Why am I always up so late?\"!!!!!!!
A very common problem when you have Bipolar Disorder. Particularly when you are hypomanic or manic.
And usually a symptom that the Pdoc wants to treat. That is, if you are not getting enough sleep. Is that the case, or do you sleep the whole morning away? If you\'re running on too little sleep, you really should do something about it.
Something other than drink.
Feeling stressed, confused, crazy -- and scared -- when there\'s not anything situational being responsible for it can be explained by the Bipolar Disorder alone and indicates that you need different treatment than you are now receiving.
Drinking can be a form of self-medication. I was heavily into alcohol before I was diagnosed and treated for my Bipolar Disorder. Once I got my meds right, I didn\'t crave alcohol at all.
Another sign that you may be hypo is a lack of appetite. A more complicated issue when someone has an ED, but if you find that you are never hungry, it may be another BP symptom.
Going by what you post, you don\'t put very much emphasis on your Bipolar Disorder, while that might be having the most profound effect on how you are doing. And with the proper treatment, you may find life much more enjoyable. Maybe it would help with the self-harm. Not directly, but because your anxiety and fear will be lessened.
Waiting IS as bad as the actual event. Or at least it can be!! Sometimes it\'s a lot worse!!!
I\'m glad you\'re doing as well as you are but wish you were doing much better!!! I hope you can resist the urge to SI, even though you\'re doing it in the least harmful way, when it comes to leaving permanent evidence behind.
As you examine and evaluate your life and how you feel about it and how you are doing with it -- something you\'re very good at doing! -- factor in the Bipolar Disorder and deal with it accordingly!!!!
Hang in there!!!! It is hard waiting, but be really glad that your life doesn\'t suck right now!!! At least that\'s something!!!! (((((Hugs)))))
I agree that you need to be careful wioth alcohol. But I ahoestly don\'t think you will go down that road. I have faith that your life will be beautiful. Something just tells me that.
I think that you should try to feel without acting. Feelings are harmless. Whether you cut, drink or not they won\'t harm you.
And don\'t wait for your life to begin. It already has.
Hugs! It will all work out! One day at a time! God Bless
Hugs-