Haven't updated in awhile so figured I would...
I loved it up at Umass. My friend and I were talking about how I might possibly room with her. That would be really awesome- I also met some girls on the floor. They seem really nice. I am feeling like I really want to go this spring semester. I have a lot of friends there so I could easily make connections and make new friends. I'm still really scared but I just think I always am going to be so I have to take this step.
Still struggling with the ex. I have a video all set up that I took in which I talk about how I miss her (without pressure, blah blah blah) but to be honest I'm having trouble sending it. I don't know if I want to. It SUCKS, I don't know what is wrong with me. People are telling me to just move on but I don't know how to. I feel like there was never a clear ending.
I don't know, today is a crappy day and so is tomorrow. I have all three classes and I have to go to some stupid jazz concert.
I want brighter days and I am trying to hold on until they come. Please please please let me learn how to be happy on my own because I will never love someone until I do.
I loved it up at Umass. My friend and I were talking about how I might possibly room with her. That would be really awesome- I also met some girls on the floor. They seem really nice. I am feeling like I really want to go this spring semester. I have a lot of friends there so I could easily make connections and make new friends. I'm still really scared but I just think I always am going to be so I have to take this step.
Still struggling with the ex. I have a video all set up that I took in which I talk about how I miss her (without pressure, blah blah blah) but to be honest I'm having trouble sending it. I don't know if I want to. It SUCKS, I don't know what is wrong with me. People are telling me to just move on but I don't know how to. I feel like there was never a clear ending.
I don't know, today is a crappy day and so is tomorrow. I have all three classes and I have to go to some stupid jazz concert.
I want brighter days and I am trying to hold on until they come. Please please please let me learn how to be happy on my own because I will never love someone until I do.
Replies
Couple of quick thoughts before I get to work:
1. The bright days will come. Start associating cold weather with happy times in your head. Visualize fun things you have done in previous winters. Because you KNOW those are coming.
2. Don\'t send anything to the ex. I have made that mistake too many times in my life and now realize it is NEVER a good idea. It always has unforeseen consequences that will cause you some pain. Just try to put her into \"past\" memory. She is officially banned from \"present\" memory. You can think about her as much as you want, but only with respect to an enjoyable, memorable PAST.
Sounds like UMass is going to be a great change for you. I am already sooo happy for you making this change.
For me the more I over-think a situation the less clarity I have- Missing your ex is so normal and trying to find a way to step foreard is difficult- I believe if you could just take it minute to minute with those feelings and try to validate it and move on to something else in your thoughts it might help ease these feelings. Re-direct the energy to something else that gives you some joy or relief- I know it\'s easy for me to say but I know it does help make it a bit easier to bare and in time it will settle into where it all belongs- I am happy to here you enjoyed UMass.
Sounds like Umass will be a good thing for yoou. Of course the change will be a littlte scary along with the fun. Just the way life is!
About the closure on yor ex thing. I totally get it about how much you want that. But don\'t count on it. Like Marc ays the more you push the more you are hurting yourself in the process.
I NEVER found out why my first love just disappeared from my life! And it was about 40 years ago!
I don\'t think anyone ever gets to understand why th
ey have been dumped, and if you push to try to find out you will likely hear some things you are better off not knowing.
Yes. It will take time but it WILL get easier. And you have so many fun things to look orward to that have nothing to do with the ex!