Hmmm what to say...I've kind of been avoiding journaling because I don't want to think.
There're no new major developments. I'm starting to look into colleges...UNH and U Mass, specifically. I thought at first I'd really hate a bigger college, but the state school I go to now is so small, it drives me NUTS. Maybe that's just because I hate this school though. Oh well.
I'm going for a sleepover with a friend who goes to UNH next weekend. I really hope it goes well because it will give me a feel for if I think I'll be able to make a go of it there. I don't think college tours necessarily give you a good enough feel for the place, you need to have a chance to socialize there in order to see if you'll really be happy there. 
I don't know. I feel stuck at some point everyday. I know rationally it's pointless because the past is the past, but I miss it and want it back. But all I can do to be happy now is go forward. I'm so scared, I don't know if I can do it away from home. But I really do want to and I hope the visit goes well.
Nothing much else to report. I haven't purged and I think the urges have really started to decrease, which is good. But the urge to cut is still kind of strong. I feel it every now and again and I try to reason with myself and say "This isn't accomplishing anything. It is not helping you get any closer to being the person you want to be." But I still feel that desire to do it, just because I've done it for so long now and it's how I cope.
Idk. Things aren't good but they're stable.