Ugh.
Monotony is setting in. It's just so BLARGH.
I keep seeing her EVERYWHERE. I want to carve my eyeballs out of my head so I won't keep seeing her face. Everything reminds me of her. It's really weird and hard for me to think that she'll be in college in a year. She'll be off doing such successful things at a great school (She's so intelligent), and I'll still be here fucking around like a failure. SADFGGRFEDsdfdsa. I just want to push this away but every time I do it comes back and hits me in the face like a fucking lesbian boomerang.
I'm trying with the whole college thing though. It's still really hard and I don't like it. But I want to give moving forward a shot. I'm really lonely but I feel ten times worse because of the whole A thing. It'd be a lot easier to make a new fresh start if I weren't tied down thinking of everything she does. I try to block her out of my life- she's blocked on Facebook, I have no contact with her, etc. But it's still something I can't get over.
I wish I could fast forward five years from now and see if it's all even gonna be worth it. If I'm still gonna feel this stuck on her then, what's the point? It's already been five months since we broke up, a little less than the amount of time we dated. I've never been normal with anything I do, what will make this any different?
I've been trying really hard to stay positive with the whole college thing, but this has just really been getting me down. If I knew the steps to take to move past it, I would, but I don't and nothing is working.
I keep seeing her EVERYWHERE. I want to carve my eyeballs out of my head so I won't keep seeing her face. Everything reminds me of her. It's really weird and hard for me to think that she'll be in college in a year. She'll be off doing such successful things at a great school (She's so intelligent), and I'll still be here fucking around like a failure. SADFGGRFEDsdfdsa. I just want to push this away but every time I do it comes back and hits me in the face like a fucking lesbian boomerang.
I'm trying with the whole college thing though. It's still really hard and I don't like it. But I want to give moving forward a shot. I'm really lonely but I feel ten times worse because of the whole A thing. It'd be a lot easier to make a new fresh start if I weren't tied down thinking of everything she does. I try to block her out of my life- she's blocked on Facebook, I have no contact with her, etc. But it's still something I can't get over.
I wish I could fast forward five years from now and see if it's all even gonna be worth it. If I'm still gonna feel this stuck on her then, what's the point? It's already been five months since we broke up, a little less than the amount of time we dated. I've never been normal with anything I do, what will make this any different?
I've been trying really hard to stay positive with the whole college thing, but this has just really been getting me down. If I knew the steps to take to move past it, I would, but I don't and nothing is working.
Replies
Eveything you are goinjg through in having trouble getting over lst first love, and college transition anxiety are normal.
Yes. You WILL feel differently as time goes by.
Many many times in life you just have to put one foot in font of the other!
Life will ALWAYS be like that at times!
But the good times are worth slogging throug the bad.
It\'s just the sad truth that some things can not be healed except through the passage of time.
If you think that you feel sadder than what the situation calls for, seen your Pdoc to see if a med tweak is in order.
But there really is no cure, except time, when it comes to a broken heart. I hope it starts passing quickly for you. (((((Hugs)))))
its gonna take time hun, but you will move on!
you let yourself think about all the \'great\" things she who will not be named may be doing with her life in a year or so... FOCUS ON YOU!
You are an amazing singer, person, individual and you can and will do great things if you allow yourself to. You can do it.
Safe (((hugs)))