I am doing ok today. Tomorrow I have work from 2-9, which I am really not looking forward to. I hope I don't have to Kidcheck, which is basically standing at the entrance for hours and stamping people as they come in. It depresses me because I am not distracted at all and I sit there and ruminate in sad thoughts about my ex and my future. I much prefer working at the registers and handing out prizes. At least I'm constantly doing something.
I also get really anxious on days that I work because I'm afraid my workout will suffer. I sleep late, and in order to get the workout in I have to get up fairly early and do it. But if I'm too tired I can't complete the workout. I just get dizzy and start to fall asleep or feel like I'll pass out. It's really frustrating and it pisses me off. I hate being tired, it makes me feel weak. Is that weird?
One other thing I feel kind of like bitching about. My brother is always making comments about my eating habits. We'll all be watching a show at night and I will have my dinner. I eat it very slowly and at certain intervals (during commercial breaks, etc) because that is just how I eat. It shouldn't be a big deal and it shouldn't affect him, but he is always making comments like "Eat your freaking egg! I'm going to eat it if you don't!" And he will poke and touch my food, which makes me anxious and not want to eat it. I have told him it makes me nervous and to please stop bringing it up, it doesn't affect him at all. But he keeps doing it. I am going to hide in a closet to eat if this keeps up.
oh well. I guess that's it. I had a sweet potato fry today. It was really small so I wasn't too anxious about it, and it tasted really good. It's not normally something I feel comfortable eating, so that's good I guess.
Hope all is well!
I also get really anxious on days that I work because I'm afraid my workout will suffer. I sleep late, and in order to get the workout in I have to get up fairly early and do it. But if I'm too tired I can't complete the workout. I just get dizzy and start to fall asleep or feel like I'll pass out. It's really frustrating and it pisses me off. I hate being tired, it makes me feel weak. Is that weird?
One other thing I feel kind of like bitching about. My brother is always making comments about my eating habits. We'll all be watching a show at night and I will have my dinner. I eat it very slowly and at certain intervals (during commercial breaks, etc) because that is just how I eat. It shouldn't be a big deal and it shouldn't affect him, but he is always making comments like "Eat your freaking egg! I'm going to eat it if you don't!" And he will poke and touch my food, which makes me anxious and not want to eat it. I have told him it makes me nervous and to please stop bringing it up, it doesn't affect him at all. But he keeps doing it. I am going to hide in a closet to eat if this keeps up.
oh well. I guess that's it. I had a sweet potato fry today. It was really small so I wasn't too anxious about it, and it tasted really good. It's not normally something I feel comfortable eating, so that's good I guess.
Hope all is well!
Replies
Your Anorexia sounds fairly entrenched, for which I am sorry. I hope you\'re under medical care of some sort, in trying to deal with it.
It\'s such a harsh disease, making what\'s unhealthy seem the right thing to do and making healthy choices seem as though they will spell the end for you!!!
Drat your brother!!! That most certainly does NOT help things!!! You\'d think he would have a bit more compassion!!!!!
Sorry you don\'t like the duty you have at work, tomorrow!!! I hope your workday passes quickly!!!! (((((Hugs)))))
Hang in there sweetie! It will get better! Tell your brother he\'s being a jerk.
life will get better. hold on
Ditto to truthlives. I hate goofy schedules too but they are a part of life!
As for your brother????? Could you maybe just lock him in his closet or somethihng?
Maybe your brother is just worried about you hun, I have to get up extra early to fit a workout in before work also so i can relate i hate feeling tired too! its frustrating wen u needand want to get a lot done!