I am so bloody freakin exhausted. Ugh. I completely destroyed my mirror the other night. I don't even know what happened, I just snapped all of a sudden and turned into this raging monster and the thing shattered into a million billion pieces. But I guess the good part is that I can't look in the full length mirror anymore and judge myself hourly. Another thing I am ashamed to write is that I have lost eight pounds in two weeks. I am shrinking again and everyone can see it and it just makes me feel so helpless and like I'll never recover. I wish there was a treatment option for me but I don't know what places are covered by our insurance or what places would accept me. I just wish there was a way for me to recover and never hear ED's stupid dumb voice ever, ever again.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

hey.
YAY for breaking ur mirror!!! i wish i could do that!!! you didnt hurt urself did you? i hope not... im sorry to hear that your feeling alone and helpless but honey- your not alone. there is a way for you to recover. you have to want to. there is a way to not hear ed\'s voice- talk back to it, tell it to shut the F up and it will lesten. the healthier you are weight wise will help ed loose.
about treatment places- thats what bothers me the most. stupid insurrance. g-d if i had money i would go to the best place. if i would win the lottery i would open up a free treatment center with the best staff etc. for now though- get a treatment team. do u have a therapist, dietician etc?
they can do wonders if you let them. kick ed\'s ass!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

aw, I think that not having the mirror will be a benefit to you! And I know what you mean about the weight loss in so short a time period. I yo-yo up and down the same 5-8 lbs like crazy! Keep fighting girly.
deleted_user
deleted_user

if u say ull never recover then u never will...u have to tell urself that it is possible...and it is hun...without hope, we have nothing
deleted_user
deleted_user

What has been going on??? DId something happen these past two weeks that was very different? What caused the sudden drop? Please try to turn things around hun. You can do it, you have the power and ability. And we are all here to support you!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Well it\'s good you broke the mirror but I hope you didn\'t hurt yourself. I\'m sorry you\'ve been losing weight. I know it\'s a struggle no matter what form ED takes. But try to keep the faith.
deleted_user
deleted_user

There IS a way to recover. You just have to want it and fight for it. The bottom line is, you have to eat and nourish your body and just ignore ED. I know it\'s not that simple, but it IS possible.
I\'ve always felt like breaking my mirror. I always scream into it, too. Was that somewhat therapeutic for you?
Your weight loss concerns me, girl. You are the most beautiful young lady I know. You are so mature for your age. I know that we\'re the same age and all, but if you went to my school, I would definitely be friends with you, and we could form our own little bond and say f**k you to the mean, bitchy girls that always seem to treat you badly. Uch, I know I\'m getting off subject here, but I just really want you to know that you are so special and have such talent and wisdom that I would KILL for. Keep being you, but make sure to take care of yourself, too!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I thought you were going to do an out patient thing. What happened with that? You don\'t need that stupid mirror anyways. I don\'t even trust them myself. Mirrors lie!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m worried about you :( I know how hard it is to figure out treatment and it\'s so tempting to just give up, but please don\'t. I went through this not too long ago. Are your parents helping you with this? Maybe they can help make phone calls to see what places will be covered by insurance.