today was okay for awhile...I ate an ice cube and tried to act like it was dinner. and then I got mad at myself for being so stupid and made myself eat a damn lean cuisine even though I cried the whole time. I hate this what is wrong with me? What makes it so hard to eat just like a normal person?
But some people in my play are being really bitchty to me I don't know if its cuz they want my role or wat...but whatever it is I felt reallllly crappy. I went and cut a half a line on my ankle and stopped myself. Sometimes I look in the mirror and all I see is this fat ugly monster, actually I see that most of the time. I know I have to face everything I'm afraid of and not carve up my ankles and starve myself, but I just don't think I'm strong enough yet. So whatever...I am gonna go finish my homework but I love you all. :)