Weekend was great. Went home to DH's hometown (much smaller than where we live) and it was nice to relax and be out in the "country". Even had a few glasses at a local winery .
So, since my BFN, I've been fairly distant with everyone - mainly family and friends. Maybe I'm being a crybaby, but I just thought that certain people (mainly my mom and sisters) would reach out and really be there for me. All I really got were text messages which was nice knowing that they cared, but no calls, no visits, no nothing. I know I was probably distant and that caused them to be distant, but I was hoping for a call asking if I'm OK and stuff. It's been almost 2 weeks since then.
And then today, one of my close college friends who is the only one that supposedly knows about my IVF (wouldn't doubt it if she told others) emailed our core group of 8 girls saying that we should start doing an annual girls trip. Everyone (including me) sounded interested and we will probably start next year as one of the last girls is getting married in October and we will all see eachother then. Well then she answered someone's question about examples of where we could go and etc., and she says that she has a good friend that goes to the lake with her friends and they all bring their kids. REALLY??? Can we please just have a girls weekend without the kids? Call me immature but I will NOT be going if their kids are coming. How annoying. I would hope that I would be pregnant by the time we plan this, but I've hoped to be pregnant for the past 2 years and you see where that has gotten me!
Anyways, I hope you all have a great week! There will be no IF updates until August as I'm on BCP's until 7/29, which I absolutely HATE.
Julie
So, since my BFN, I've been fairly distant with everyone - mainly family and friends. Maybe I'm being a crybaby, but I just thought that certain people (mainly my mom and sisters) would reach out and really be there for me. All I really got were text messages which was nice knowing that they cared, but no calls, no visits, no nothing. I know I was probably distant and that caused them to be distant, but I was hoping for a call asking if I'm OK and stuff. It's been almost 2 weeks since then.
And then today, one of my close college friends who is the only one that supposedly knows about my IVF (wouldn't doubt it if she told others) emailed our core group of 8 girls saying that we should start doing an annual girls trip. Everyone (including me) sounded interested and we will probably start next year as one of the last girls is getting married in October and we will all see eachother then. Well then she answered someone's question about examples of where we could go and etc., and she says that she has a good friend that goes to the lake with her friends and they all bring their kids. REALLY??? Can we please just have a girls weekend without the kids? Call me immature but I will NOT be going if their kids are coming. How annoying. I would hope that I would be pregnant by the time we plan this, but I've hoped to be pregnant for the past 2 years and you see where that has gotten me!
Anyways, I hope you all have a great week! There will be no IF updates until August as I'm on BCP's until 7/29, which I absolutely HATE.
Julie
Replies
Thats awesome you had a good weekend, hopefully you are feeling a bit more refreshed, recharged and ready to face the world :)
I can relate and don\'t think you are being a crybaby. IF is extremely lonely and we all want to know that someone gets it and that those closest to us care and are there for us.
It hurt deeply when my so called closest friends took my IF journey so lightly and would still make stupid comments about how hard it was when they didn\'t get pregnant the first try, come on really?!?!?
I realize that we can\'t expect people to change their lives for us, but some empathy, compassion and understanding would be nice!!
About the girls trip....I would be annoyed too, the whole point of a girls trip is to leave the hubby and kids at home!!
I\'m so sorry your mom and sister weren\'t there for you like you\'d hope (and I\'m sure expected also). My sister is pretty good with keeping in touch even sent me flowers when i finally came clean and told her me and Gary were having issues, but with my mom, nothing. Just weak \"i\'m sorry\" and \"i\'m thinking of you\" text messages. I certainly don\'t get it either, they should try a little harder.
You def aren\'t being immature either. There is NO WAY I\'d go on a girls vacation with a bunch of kids being there. Not an ideal vacation for a woman going through IF.
Can\'t wait for Aug to get here already :)
I feel that way about my family too. I know mom cares, but I think she\'s trying really hard not to say the wrong thing, so in turn says pretty much nothing. She will ask me through text once in awhile \"how are you\" and so i think that\'s her way of not putting pressure on, but just checking in. So glad you had a great weekend. I can\'t believe they want to have a girls trip and invite kids. What you should do, is if they do that, bring your husband and your pets!! We all know having a husband is like a kid! and my pets are my children just as much as human ones would be! and train your pets to chase other ppls kids down :-)
I have similar problems with my family. I don\'t have any sisters, but my brothers are usually good about things. Until I disclosed my IF, then they both kinda stopped talking about things (they both have kids). My Mum tries to be helpful sometimes, but she ALWAYS puts her foot in her mouth when she does so she tends to not say anything at all where my IF is concerned.
My brother\'s girlfriend claims to understand my pain, BUT she\'s already got one child and is lamenting the fact that my brother refuses to have a kid with her for various reasons. Thus I don\'t talk to her about anything either. Family can be the worst where IF is concerned!
I also agree with the other ladies, it\'s not immature to not want to go on a \'girls vacation\' where the kids are invited too. It\'s just not a girls vacation if the kids are coming along! The whole point of them is to get away from the hustle and bustle of your every day life, which includes the kids and hubby!