I'm still waiting to hear back from the doctor...should have heard back today, so if I don't get a call back by tomorrow, I'm going for blood...To top things off, Shawn has been distant since for nearly a week. He wants me around but barely spends time with me when I am there. He says he's been exhausted lately and doesn't know why and thinks that may have something to do with why he's been distant. I hope this blows over and the Shawn I had before will come back to me. He's the only in-person support I have. What's worse is that I spent the weekend drunk because I figured that I couldn't do any more harm to myself than my body has....how stupid is that? I feel like an idiot. Now it's starting to get harder to focus my vision and yes, I am sober...what am I going to do?! I am so confused.So will it be cancer or life-long meds....tune in tomorrow for the soap opera that is my so-called life...I hope I didn't steal that...