Well..

Doing good w/ the no contact w/ T.  I mean I didn't read his last text, but from what I noticed he's kinda pist I'm blowing him off.  It is important in order for me to get clear.
I think I've been affected by his emotional and verbal abuse and what is so hard about it is the lack of validation.  I know those who understand here are a goldmine  for me.  I just don't see a lot of that to get support from.  I've told so few people my business.
I did my temp job last week and I've just been very grumpy lately.  I think the emotional sensitivity is leaving me extremely vulnerable.  I have been too busy.  I have come to think at home, my mom not having a present life partner/spouse with dad in his gambling/computer addiction has her leaning on me for more than I realize.  Controlling.
I just broke down today after dealing w/ clutter after moving stuff out of my room from painting.  I did it when mom asked me to and I sort of broke down.  When I called my sponsor mom had gotten home and it was like I was just having a sort of panic attack on the phone.  I did not have my assignment ready to go over my amends list w/ her, I said I needed a couple days.   She helped me start on a progressive relaxation of my body and I did that and meditated and felt a lot better, it helped.  Yeah my head is racing lately.
I got into another situation with the OTHER T who I liked late last year, as he asked if I was still dating T who I am not, I said no, and he said so does that mean it's ok if I call you again?  I was like, yeah just give me a little time, so he said uh, he didn't mean anything by that.  I walked away.  He left a msg the next  day apologizing.  So I'm like, caught up in love addiction.  Seeing it's an escape from pain and hoping to deal with my own pain.  So yeah I cried more over that then the T I was dating.  I just have not cried except once when I checked his text, T, and I mean, I know there is some pain in there, for some reason it feels stuck.  I think I've been too busy