Well.
 
Um so today I get a call from T's ex/gf who is a meth addict alcoholic.  Odd she was friends with my sis when I was a kid so when I met her years ago, she remembered me.  I haven't talked to her since.  Yes she has a sweet side, but it is not coming out lately according to T and since she called me this am and asked how long I've been F*&^^% him and I was silent and finally hung up.  Somehow she got a hold of my # and found out I am the one using T's second automobile, he told me she found out about the car, I told him she called me.  So I heard from her and in keeping his privacy, could not really answer her questions - that is his buisiness it is not up to me to tell.  I feel like I'm being stalked and harassed.
My first thought was to give up the automobile - which I am spening gas $ on and will make a car payment on - and give up the time I am spending with T's son, which is the main reason he has me using the auto.  His son and I have bonded, and yesterday I got the sense he was being dishonest, which his dad says he tends to do.  This tends to be a "deal breaker" for me.
I have been wondering if I want to spend my income on the car, and take the time with J, which is lengthy.  The cost is great for me right now.  It may be temporary.
Last night reading a book on Toltec Love, the author who wrote "the Four Agreements" and it was talking about when we love / give to others we're loving / giving to our Master.  I almost cried.
I thought about enjoying the car to do things out of town I couldn't do w/out it.  There are things coming up I want to do - a few concerts, meetings, not having to get up extra early to catch the bus, it is a big time saver...
At least "the cat is out of the bag" and yes I'm a little scared of this girl, T has called cops on her recently and she's delusional and anyway, yeah to have her have my # and leaving voice and text messages, will require me to use some tools. I'm not listening, it's too much like stalking I've dealt with with drug addict ex bf's.  T said he's not going to let her ruin his life and there is no talking to her.  Maybe their sons talked about me and she had the phone bill records.  I don't know.  Anyway  I'm feeling quite anxious about it, to think she could know where I live because of her knowlege of my home because of her childhood friendship with my sis, is all just preparing me for something I am very concerned about - a scene.
I feel really sad for her.  I don't know what to do.
Also a guy B asked me to coffee Saturday.  It was funny, last month the day T offered me a ride home, the day before he made the proposition to loan me the car because he needed rides for his kid, I had told T no and was talking to B and then changed my mind after a bit and got in the car.  He remembered where I lived after 4 1/2 years ago when we dated once.  So B had asked me to go out with some people on New Years Eve, and I'd had planned to stay in.  So yes, we went to coffee spontaneously this weekend.  I told him I hadn't dated in a year up until a month ago, and he figured who it was, hearing about the car situation.  So.  He said he'd love to hang out.  I told him I needed to process everything.
I told T someone asked me out, and he teased me about this "boyfriend" and asked if he was cute and where I met him.  I just said nevermind, it was too hard to talk about.  I guess I wanted to talk about our "status" - he has wanted to keep our involvement private, I am FINE with that (mostly) since it's so new and he's newly broken up and the meetings can tend to be gossip-y.  Anyway.  I told B I really enjoyed talking with him and we'll have to work on our friendshp and see what happens.  I have a "situation" already.   We'd confessed our crushes on eachother (him first) at coffee.  Yeah he's newer in sobriety, around longer ,but not sober the whole time.  He said he apologized for being too forward and would like to get to know me over a period of time.  His response alerted me to my love addiction having kicked in.
So God is good and I will use prayer today.  Try to live one day at a time.