My new friend, he's 14 and his dad T loans me his truck so I can pick him up and stuff, I enjoy his company. We had a great time tie dyeing tshirts Friday night - I'd never done it. It was so fun. He showed me how to make a heart tie dye. I got some v neck tee's and made one with a big red heart in the middle with other colors all over and wow, it was so fun to wear on Valentine's day / my 5 year sobriety bday yesterday! I got happy bday sung to me at 3 meetings. I got very emotional and cried each time. I got some beautiful sobriety chips and got to eat cake. It is a WE program so it's all about something much bigger than me, and to be able to share that with my recovery family and people who have been such a big part of my recovery and to have that acknowledgement and accomplishment is huge. And to let myself cry publicly was maturity. One friend said we have real friends, not just using buddies. Another said we get to feel our feelings. I've never cried being sung happy bday to before. One neat bonus is I talked to a cousin who celebrated 2 years clean a few days ago. Last time I saw him 5 years ago he was locked in his car with a glass pipe for an hour. His other brother and I were talking about AA - at the time it was their dad's funeral, and he was telling me how he couldn't stop drinking, and I had a month in AA at the time. He's got 3 1/2 years sober now. It meant a lot to have their support and understanding. I don't get that from my familY so having it from my cousins and my recovery family was meaningful. Their two brothers, my other cousins, are an absolute mess in their addictions / alcoholism, one who I was closest to as a kid, it just breaks my heart. So sobriety in our family and them in particular is quite a miracle. I don't think my family can really appreciate that, and their parents / my aunt & uncl are passed, so they're not here to be supportive. Even T my "friend" sung me happy bday over the phone. I wanted to see him last night but waited to see if he'd call instead of pursuing it, and by the time he did to tell me his son wanted to see me, it was late and I said I don't think so. I had a great time staying over with him on Saturday night. Saturday I went to hot springs and got a hot stone massage and took a yoga class and soaked in mineral waters and put that mud all over me. I am so glad I did it the day before my bday so I could be at that noon meeting. I hadn't taken cakes there the last 2 years because I wanted space from my ex and his croud. And my ex texted me w/ a photo and a happy v-day / b-day msg - I responded, which I haven't done in over a year. I'm so glad that relationship is behind me. I don't hate him and was able to thank him for being a part of my sobriety and tell him I keep him in prayer. I have been wearing a ring he gave me - I am making peace with having been w/ him. It is nice to know T is aware of us and can accept us - it has been very hard for me to accept having been with someone so unstable and controversial (long story, you can read about in in my journals here the first year Oct - 07 - Sept 08 I was a DS member). Anyway so I am glad to be part of a big recovery program family that is growing all the time.