I went out to see an old aquaintance's band. I'm glad I went. It was great to be amongst the Rock n Roll scene and to see some good entertainment.  It was nice to see him.  My old dear friend ended up not being in town for the event after all.  I'd been scared to see her - it's been years, she's my old using buddy, and there was an old falling out I'm still dealing with.  I am not in touch with her.  I was scared to see her, but went anyway.  I love overcoming a fear and was so glad I did. I got a lot out of the two AA meetings yesterday.  It was good to be there.  I got to choose one topic "living one day at a time and patience and tolerance" and the other was "drugs problems other than alcohol" which was an excellent topic for me.  I have a desire to quit drinking and that is why I attend AA, and I did not realize how bad my problem with alcohol was because my marijuana addiction was primary for much of my life, but the longer I stay stopped drinking the more I realize for most of the part how much of a problem I had with alcohol. Work Christmas party today I'm kind of excited about.  Secret gift exchange, pot luck, even a coworker's band will perform.  Neat!  I made a big salad and will try to not make a big deal out of eating vegetarian and skipping the main course, tacos.  So be it. Aunt and Uncle are not coming for Christmas after all.  His dimentia and effects of cancer are probably not going over well for the long drive and staying over.  My family is full of unrecovered Al Anon women in my opinion and my aunt, I think I see that in her, and it is not a good role model for me.  I am learning to pray for God to remove my judgementalness.  She has a lot of good qualities I am just changing my idea of what "good" is an that has shifted quite a lot.  I no longer see the selfless woman role model submitting to an irresponsible man with addition issues as being ideal, which is a healthy shift. Another old using buddy who did some really screwed up things to our mutual friend years ago, but I am still in the process of forgiving him for, he may show up to MA this weekend.  I'm kind of nervous.  I'll be the speaker.  Anyway I took him there before a few years ago when he was newly getting off pot.  He was able to quit weed pretty much without a recovery program, but he drinks probably in moderation.  Anyway he wasn't always real supportive of my meetings, but I think he is still my old friend so I am trying to let go of those resenentments towards him.  I still need to use discernment with him since he is not someone I trust fully. I'm enjoying buying gifts this year, I just had a blast doing it.  I got myself a few wonderful treats.  I feel blessed to afford gifts this year.