Did some writing on Al Anon Step 1 from one of the books with a friend and I learned so much.  I'd dreamed of her house before and it was my first time there, and yeah it was pretty much as I dreamed.  This is a common occurence for me and runs on my mom's side of the family.  I told her about that and she wasn't weirded out by it  but called me an intuitive - yea. Doing a good job of overcoming the issue / rejection with T I wrote about in last journal.  The Addiction to Love book (Susan Peabody) is helping me see the issue is not about him, but a recurring theme for me.  I guess having it come up now and 2 months ago with his friend J, awkwardly enough, is helping me put the focus on the solution which is to seek recovery from this. I have been in touch with an aquaintance M.  He was a friend of my old best friend, R.  I havent seen her in years.  We were using buddies.  When I made amends to her a few years ago she took it ok.  It was really hard a couple years  before that when she said she hadn't wanted to be my friend anymore when I confronted her that I thought she abused amphemines.  I realize too I wasn't a very good friend at that point, maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's  back.  Well this aquaintance put his book online and I got SOO much out of it, and contacted him to tell him so.  There were some pretty incredible similarities between us he was also astonished by.  So his band is playing next weekend and she'll be in town to see him.  It occurs to me I could show up.  I feel I owe her further amends.  I guess I have to remember who the amends are for - me - and to know that the results coming from her are not the reason to do them.  Just to be around her sober and sane would be a huge amends in my eyes - I was a really hard one to handle and I am really grateful she was there for me as long as she was.  I guess I am kind of curious to be around them since they've been so much on my mind since finding his book, and I miss her all the time. I'm enjoying reading, the changes in the leaves this fall, walking and being with my puppy, my bed, being a good employee, the possibities of all the different meetings I can attend, seeing my aunt from out of state this month, as well as my new uncle (they finally got married for legal reasons after being together since I was a child), finding gifts for loved ones, the Christmas parties I'm invited to for work and by a friend and by mom, the concert I have next week, also maybe the one with M & R if I choose to go, turning over my MA commitment and maybe receiving another one, the recovery I'm doing with my Al Anon and love addiction issues, which will help with my sobriety recovery.