There was an AA convention out of town and I realized Wed. I'd have Friday off work, so a long weekend.  I also found out my Christmas vacation time shrunk due to some seasonal work I'm grateful to have. I wasn't sure about the family Thanksgiving dinner this year.  I was bothered I never heard back from my sis and hadn't been invited, when I finally spoke to her Wed night.  Dad declined because he doesn't approve of her guy.  Her choice to bring him in the home with their kids is having a negative affect on the whole family including their dad and my parents and me not to mention the kids, but she says they're "fine".  They're not!  The guy is not a good influence and she herself is seeming to be much unfit according to her kids. According to her we don't hear much their is much secrecy and sneakiness and there is abuse going on.  She told mom 6 weeks after the fact she'd been fired from her very good job, the school where I was working. I'd skipped Al Anon last week so the situation that went down I was really feeling it. So all it took was for her attitude to be negative towards me when I finally got ahold of her and I was so emotional the night before Thanksgiving and that day, deciding to go out of town and skip the meal. Dad helped with arranging hotel reservations for me and giving me a map and stuff, and after all was said and done and I returned Saturday night, mom said I did not miss much - that the family dinner was not all that, to the point that she wouldn't want to return.  It is no longer a kid centered family.  They are the victims in this.  I want to be there for them.  I have tried to reach out and they are not good about getting or returning messages, but I need to keep trying. Mom had said sis told her me and dad were ruining her thanksgiving.  Mom was as supportive as she could be but I think me deciding not to go was hard on her, but after the fact she said I did the right thing.  I couldn't have imagined putting on a happy face with all this secretive abuse going on, which is probably healthy for me to distance myself. So the convention was awesome.  I was so sad on the way, and Thanksgiving involved a long drive, checking into the hotel, and registering for the convention, which I did not attend any meetings for that first day.  Instead I walked up and down the Vegas strip, a long, long walk that helped me to move through the emotions - I was very premenstrual emotionally and it only heightened all the sensitivity.  I did talk to sis that day and say I was very sorry for not coming.  She did not see me cry that day or the night before.  I'd been told by her that she didn't appreciate me "scolding" her when I mentioned I didn't know if I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner because I never hear from her.  I apologized, but it makes it hard to communicate with her.  There is no communication.  Mom is really fed up, but letting it all go.  We had a good talk when I got back.  I'm learning self respect and the abusive relationship she is in does not lead her to have self respect or to grant others with respect. Friday I did marathon AA and Al Anon meetings, and got much out of them. It was just what I needed to be around convention goers from all over, getting recovery and fellowship. I ran into one AA friend the night I got there and the hug from a familiar face was nice.  Saturday morning I was due to head out after hitting a couple meetings when I ran into a nother couple people, and did not take time to go to breakfast with them.  I was still in some isolation mode.  It was nice to feel welcome, if I didn't receive it at the time. One amazing meeting was on sex, and the sharing was so important to me to have people speak honestly on a topic we do our inventory on and is little spoken of, but such a big deal.  It is such a loaded subject for people, men & women, with much abuse, molestation, exploitation, sex workers, selfishness, all kinds of stuff. Sexual sobriety is a big deal. I spent time on the cell phone driving on my trip, calling friends to check in and get some support.  I even called T, a guy who is friends with J, the guy I am sort of "getting over" - I even overheard someone say J would not be in town last weekend, so I thought he may be at the convention, which sort of contributed to my keeping a low profile - avoidance.  T asked me to join the two of them to church sometime when I saw him a couple weeks ago and he took a walk with me as I went to get a juice after the meeting.  I said I'd keep it in mind.  I think he likes me.  So when he asked for my # I got distracted after I'd gotten his.  I called Saturday to ask him a question about church.  He said now that he has my number, would it be alright if he called me in the near future and we could go for coffee?  I said alright.  He seems like a good guy which is weird for me, I guess I must be getting healthier to attract / be attracted to a nice guy not a troubled, sick guy.  This guy T has amazing recovery from what I gather from his shares.  He's close with J which is awkward.  After I took J to the concert last month I felt very rejected when he did not stay in touch long, but I let it go after inviting him to a 2nd concert to not get his confirmation.  I thought he liked me and I started to like him and felt vulnerable.  Let go of ego and find my truth. I am learning to trust God during good and difficult times that I am right where I am supposed to be.