I was able to fix car myself - it was a loose hose, which I realized after it had been towed to the mechanics. He was gone for the weekend so I opened the hood after I realized what it probably was. The tow truck driver was really nice and talking about Christianity. I am sort of bugged now my coworker wants to use our employee to make sure the problem is secured - I don't feel comfortable, but feel unable to say "no." The guy is fixing it now. I am reading that Steve Harvey's "Act like a lady, think like a man" about letting guys do things for you. I am not good at that in many ways, learned from mom, so I'm trying to stretch myself for practice. I feel sort of bugged this girl told me this guy M liked me about a month ago and asked me to talk to him. I almost wish she hadn't because now I feel rejected. He'd asked her for my # and now that we're talking I don't think he likes me. Oh well. Ask God to replace my ego with humility. So J, the guy who I took to the concert, I realized around that time his friend liked me. I've avoided him for a few weeks. So I finally saw his friend T last night and he asked me if I want to go to church with he and J, and said it's an "open invitation". I am trying to avoid J, I guess I really put myself out there and feel sort of hurt. I told T I'd keep it in mind. He asked if I had a cell #. M was nearby. I kind of forgot to give him mine after I took his, I got distracted. So my mind is sort of racing a little, like what's this all about? Then my 95 year old friend said he's trying to fix me up with this guy in AA and I felt totally self conscious. I told my friend the guy has a girlfriend - he said it's not serious. I look up to this guy, actually I used to have a little crush on him, and I'm totally out of his league, as far as many areas go - looks, fitness, taking care of himself, not to mention I heard he's a millionaire - yes that is attractive only when the person is nice, but I'm like, why can't my friend just let me be? So I am in the process of redefining myself with men I suppose. I am fine single! I can't really imagine getting married. I'm used to my independence. At my home MA I shared how I used to be an exotic dancer. That is really hard to admit. The topic was something that has really affected you, and one is being a marijuana addict, and another is that, both things I tend to keep secret.
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